My Dinner With Andre (The Pornographer)

By Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn For Women

Reading about University of Tennessee student Patrick Goswitz having porn performer Cherry Morgan tag along as his ‘date’ to a formal parents’ dinner got me thinking about my first real brush with the business side of the porn industry, some 20 years ago.

Read on…

Back then, I was a bored 20-something with a mundane job at a software company. My new boyfriend’s job sounded a lot more interesting to me; he was the marketing director at a small but rapidly growing internet porn company, at a time when internet porn amounted to highly compressed, pixelated images and ‘video’ which resembled a choppy, quick-moving slide show around the size of a postage stamp.

One of his company’s partners was a producer who occasionally came to Arizona to visit the owner of the company, who in addition to being a partner (and fellow pornographer) was a personal friend of the pornographer, who I’ll call “Andre,” mostly because it facilitates the movie reference I used as a title for this post.

(OK, fine I’ll admit it – only because it facilitates the movie reference.)

OK, So It Wasn’t Your Typical Dinner Conversation….

Andre was a guy who was used to spending pretty much all his time around other people in the porn industry – and it showed.

What I mean by this is Andre occasionally seemed to forget that most of the world doesn’t generally speak quite loudly about on-set mishaps involving the sudden (and premature) release of certain bodily fluids in a way which gums up camera equipment, or about pragmatic concerns like the inability of male performers to maintain an erection despite the heroic oral efforts of their female co-stars.

I remember the evening pretty vividly, in part because I’d never experienced anything quite like it. So while I’m sure time has dulled my precise recollection of the exact words Andre said, I’m equally sure I remember the spirit, tone and impact of those words just about perfectly.

Early on in our evening, Andre was on a roll talking, about a female performer he described as a “real beast.” While she had signed on for and completed a threesome, once the scene was done, the woman looked straight at the camera and told Andre she wasn’t satisfied.

“She wasn’t fucking around, this girl,” Andre said, his excitement in retelling the story reaching a fever pitch. “She crawled right to me and fished my cock out of my pants and just started sucking it – and I mean hard and fast, like” – at which point Andre began bobbing his head back and forth vigorously.

….And the Audience Was One Person Larger Than He Had Realized

Andre hadn’t seemed to notice her approach, but as he continued, a young waitress stood patiently by the table, waiting for Andre to take a breath so she could interject with some sort of practical, meal-related input.

Blissfully unaware of the increasingly uncomfortable looking server, Andre continued apace, pantomiming sex acts and gesticulating wildly as he went along.

“Finally, I’m like I can’t take any more of this,” Andre said. “I spun her around and started fucking her from behind, and it’s not like my girlfriend wasn’t right there on the set, you know? But instead of getting mad, she starts clapping and saying ‘Go Andre, Go Andre!’ It was insane, but I’d never been so turned on.”

What followed was perhaps the most remarkable and rapid change in a man’s countenance I’ve ever seen.

In the middle of a paragraph which started with a couple rapid fire sentences about the difficulty of keeping a camera relatively steady while approaching orgasm, and seemed poised to end with a description of spurting a Herculean load of sperm onto the “beast’s” face, Andre finally noticed our waitress, looking completely mortified, standing just to his right at the edge of our table.

Andre’s voice trailed off as he came to a stammering stop on the word “balls.” Mouth agape, he looked up at the waitress and barely managed a whispered croak of a half apology, half question.

“Uh… Sorry?” he said.

Taking a deep breath, the waitress said what was on her mind.

“Our specials this evening are….”

The Start of Something Big – And Unexpected

After dinner, my boyfriend waited until the rest of our party was out of earshot before he began to apologize profusely.

“I’m soooo sorry,” he said, looking at me as though I’d just told him my new puppy had died. “I didn’t know Andre was going to…. I dunno, go off like that about his life as a porn producer.”

Smiling back, I gave him the universal “no problem” shrug and said the nine words he probably never figured he’d hear a woman say in such a situation.

“That’s OK, I actually thought it was kinda cute.”

As we walked back to the car that night, neither of us had any idea he’d soon leave the porn industry to explore other career options – or that I’d be the one to spend the next 20 years having more dinner(s) with Andre(s). And me working in the Porn Industry!

Funny how life works out.