Sex Robots – THIS is Why We Need Self-Driving Cars

Car Sex – THIS is Why We Need Self-Driving Cars

self-driving car sex

– Calico Rudasill, Adult Entertainment For Women

Look, I know self-driving cars aren’t perfect, but for a variety of reasons, I think the faster self-driving cars replace human operated ones on the road, the better off we’ll all be. Or, at the very least, the more sleep I will get on my way to Los Angeles, should I ever be faced with making that drive again. 

I’m not sure precisely how they arrived at this number, but data from the auto insurance industry suggests the self-driving car accident rate is higher than the one of human-driven vehicles, with 9.1 driverless car crashes per million miles driven, while regular vehicles have a rate of 4.1 accidents per million miles.

Your Robot Chauffeur Would Like You to Consider Some Important Context

If you dig a little deeper, however, you quickly learn that many of those accidents involving self-driving cars were the fault of human drivers who crashed into the self-driving cars, not the other way around. Personally, I think it’s a little rich to blame the robot car for getting rear-ended by some jackass playing with his phone.

Of course, buzzkill lawyer types will also point out the dangers of Lithium-Ion batteries found in many self-driving cars, which they say are “well-known to be highly combustible” and that lithium-fueled fires can “reach 3,632 degrees Fahrenheit,” which I must admit is roughly 3,555 degrees hotter than I like to keep the cabin of my car.

Caveat: Never Let Your Sex Robots Borrow the Car

One safety risk a self-driving car is extremely unlikely to create, I think it’s safe to say, is the World According to Garp scenario. For readers unfamiliar with John Irving’s novel and the film based on it, this is the scene from it to which I refer.

Now, the less sexually adventurous among you might be rolling your eyes right now, thinking “OK, but how often do people have sex in moving cars, as opposed to parked ones?” The answer, according to some researchers, is “more often than you might think.”

In the study linked above, 195 male and 511 female college students at a Midwestern university participated in an online study of sex while driving (“SWD”). According to the researchers, 32.8% of the men and 9.3% of the women in the study had engaged in SWD, while 9% of the men and 29% of women had engaged in SWD as a passenger. The authors noted that in “most recent SWD incidents, respondents reported that the two most common acts were oral sex (70.3%) and genital touching (60.4%).”

I’m not saying sex-related auto accidents happen every week, but as the driver of this FedEx truck will tell you, there was one this week.

So… yeah, it’s not that rare.

My Bias, Exposed

Confession time: I gave my now-husband a blowjob we were driving through downtown Tucson late one night, a few years before we got married. 

A naturally risk-averse person, he insisted that we pull over if my intent was to bring him to climax – which kinda ruined the spontaneity and sapped my enthusiasm completely. Sadly (for him), he never got closure on the incident, so to speak.

It was only the next morning, upon reflection, that I realized how potentially dangerous that blowjob was. After all, my husband is prone to having minor convulsions, for lack of a better term, when he ejaculates. The idea that he could maintain control over the car and avoid stomping on the gas as he came was a fundamentally unrealistic notion.

Ever since that night, I’ve longed for a way to recreate the excitement and tension of that moment, while mitigating the danger. At the same time, I have no desire to put on a live sex show for an Uber driver, cabbie or limo driver, so replicating it with the two of us as passengers only appeals in the context of a self-driving car.

Of course, I suppose a big part of the excitement and tension was the danger, which presents a bit of a dilemma for my plan to recreate the moment more safely. I suppose I could always blow my husband while he’s sitting on a Lithium-Ion battery?

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