Isn’t it amazing how quickly people can come up with excuses to explain away their failures, and how far they’ll go to blame anything or anyone but themselves when things go wrong? As Calico notes, this practice is especially pronounced in the context of politics, where every losing candidate and her/his supporters is liable to offer a million reasons why they didn’t win out at the polls, sometimes before the votes have been counted in full.
One excuse for an election loss Calico ran across this week was totally new to her, however, a novel explanation for failure at the ballot box which the losing candidate in question literally wore right across his face. Read all about it in Calico’s latest post, “So, We’re Blaming Porn Mustaches For Political Failures Now?” …
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We humans do love making excuses, don’t we?
Some of our excuses are better than others, naturally. For instance, when you’re caught using your phone while driving in an area where using your phone while driving is against the law, telling the police you were snapchatting a picture of them (“them” in this context meaning the same cops ticketing you at that very moment) to a friend of yours because you’ve never seen a cop on a bicycle before probably won’t get you out of the ticket.
When someone loses an election, the excuses really come flying in a hurry. Maybe their opponent ran unfair negative ads, or maybe they took an ill-advised ride in a tank, or maybe the liberal media just didn’t like them so they couldn’t get a fair shake in the press.
One thing I haven’t heard an election loss blamed on before, however, is a “porn mustache” – or I hadn’t heard that excuse until today, I should say.
He Couldn’t Raise Money, The GOP Base Didn’t Like Him, But His Mustache Is To Blame?
In reading about Rick Saccone’s loss to Conor Lamb, it sure sounds to me like Saccone had bigger problems than the nature of his mustache, but that didn’t stop one anonymous Republican strategist from blaming his loss, in part, on Saccone’s “disgusting” soup-strainer.
“It’s a porn stache,” said the strategist. “He should have lost the mustache.”
Despite the mustache, Saccone has also been pegged as too ‘establishment” by other observers.
“He came across as establishment, and I think that’s part of the problem,” former Trump campaign aide Jason Miller told CNN in a recent interview. “He’s in the Statehouse. He very much sounds like he’s already part of Washington. You flip on the TV there… and a lot of it looks really cookie-cutter, like, we’re Washington, and we’re here to help.”
So, was it the moustache, or was it the message? Could it have been both? Would he have seemed less establishment if he’d instead sported a glorious imperial mustache? How about… well, whatever this thing is called?
Call me a skeptic, but I think Saccone’s bigger problem likely was a lack of fundraising. After all, if he’d raised more money, he could have justified sinking some of it into “the best gentleman’s foil shaver.”
Why Didn’t Hillary Think Of Blaming Facial Hair?
After the 2016 election, Hillary Clinton has famously offered a wide variety of excuses to explain away her loss to Donald Trump. I’ll say this much for Hillary, though: At least she didn’t blame it on a porn mustache – or any other kind of mustache, so far as I’m aware.
For that matter, most of the individual people Hillary blames for contributing to her loss – a list which includes James Comey, Vladimir Putin, Barrack Obama and Mitch McConnell – typically don’t wear facial hair of any kind, much less a porn stache.
Even so, maybe Hillary should add mustaches to the list of culprits behind her electoral demise, be they porn staches or some other variety. After all, it’s hard to believe her own had a positive impact at the polls…
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