Apparently, A Ban on Sex Within Marriage Was Deemed Unnecessary…

Apparently, A Ban on Sex Within Marriage Was Deemed Unnecessary…

– Calico Rudasill,

Confused couple sex

It seems like everywhere I look right now, there’s someone trying to rain on the parade of those of us who like sex, enjoy depictions of sexual conduct, find discussions about sex compelling, or who find interesting just about anything to do with sex.

You’ve got Senator Mike Lee with his “Interstate Obscenity Definition Act”, as well as his “Shielding Children’s Retinas from Egregious Exposure on the Net Act”, a bill that I strongly suspect began as the merely as the acronym “SCREEN”, after which Lee’s staff figured out what the bill should contain.

Meanwhile, in Tennessee, pharmacists at CVS and Walgreens allegedly are declining to sell people birth control pills and condoms. Evidently, being anti-abortion doesn’t mean you support measures to prevent unwanted pregnancies, other than simply not fucking at all.

Wait; Isn’t There a Sex Recession Going On?

Interestingly, all this legislation, lobbying and public handwringing comes at a time when people are (again, allegedly) having less sex than ever. I mean sure, there’s something of a paucity of solid, peer-reviewed evidence to support the idea of a true, global “sex recession”, but there’s more evidence for that than there is evidence to support the claims Mike Lee makes in support of his legislation, so let’s just roll with the idea that there’s a massive and ongoing sex recession, shall we? 

Heck, if we’re lucky, maybe Mike Lee will become concerned about this lack of sex leading to fewer Mormons being born and propose something called the FORNICATE Act. (I’ll let his staff come up with the full title for that one, too.)

Where is Gloria Gaynor When We Need Her?

Of course, for those of us who might think our lives could do with a little more sex, there’s no shortage of advice – or, should that advice fail, the sort of advice that comes from lawyers who help you end relationships for the low, low price of half of everything you own.

Hell, even Tony Robbins has advice for people trapped in sexless marriages. “Most couples don’t choose to be in a sexless relationship,” he tells us. Gee… thanks for that revealing news flash, Tony.

Some folks take the question a bit too far though, like whoever wrote this piece for, which asks “Can a man survive a sexless marriage?’

Well, considering that a lot of men who aren’t married manage to survive on masturbation and seething resentment of women, I think we already know the answer to this one, no? Or maybe that sub-headline was simply a mistake, because the question as rendered in the paragraph below it is: “can a sexless marriage survive?”

As for the lawyers who show up with their briefcases to help people escape sexless marriages, apparently in North Carolina, there’s an option called a “divorce from bed and board”, which isn’t really a divorce, but a legally-backed physical separation.

The list of causes for this sort of action includes adultery, abandonment, “malicious turning out of doors” and my favorites, “infliction of indignities” and “cruel and barbarous treatment.”

Hmm… Come to think of it, in the context of some couples, a little “infliction of indignities” and/or “cruel and barbarous treatment” might be exactly what a submissive spouse is looking for. So maybe North Carolina isn’t the best place for kinky couples to tie the knot.

Meanwhile, in Indonesia…

Where was I? Oh yeah – people having sex, or not having sex, and those who are trying to encourage/discourage them.

Just in case people are still having sex – and sex outside of wedlock, specifically – the powers that be in Indonesia have a solution: They’re banning sex outside of marriage.

“The aim is to protect the institution of marriage and Indonesian values, while at the same time being able to protect the privacy of the community and also negate the rights of the public or other third parties to report this matter or ‘playing judge’ on behalf of morality,” explained Albert Aries, a spokesperson for Indonesia’s justice ministry. 

The second part of Aries’ statement is in reference to the fact that scope of the legislation is “limited by who could report (violations), such as a parent, spouse or child of suspected offenders.”

Granted, not everyone supports Indonesia’s state-backed celibacy plan for singles, with Citra Referandum, an attorney from Indonesia’s Legal Aid Institute, saying the process that led to the new laws is “not only a setback but a death for Indonesia’s democracy” that has “not been democratic at all.”

Look at the bright side, Citra: At least they didn’t ban sex within marriage as well. I suppose that’s because they took one look at the headlines and decided such a ban simply isn’t necessary.


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