[ed. Note: We generally don’t publish many articles with relationship advice for men, but this guest post has some good info in it, so thought we would show our guy readers here a little love!]
Advice No. 1. Profile in a social network
In order for first date with someone took place in general, pay attention to getting a profile social networks to get acquainted with someone.
What to hide, now the majority of couples get acquainted on the Internet. Everyone has their own life, hobbies but often guys just have no opportunity to get acquainted with a beautiful girl in the reality.
Writing silly jokes and greasing comments under someone else’s photos – all this will push away the girl whom you would like to go on a date. Clean all photos with your ex. The first date with the girl will hardly take place if your profile is decorated with kisses from the lady from your past.
How is it better to begin communication so that subsequently girl agrees to go on the first date?
- Send a good song and take interest about her musical tastes.
- Ask how she liked new episodes of Game of Thrones.
- Send a link to interesting article about art, for example. And ask what she thinks about it.
- Simply ask how she is doing. If your photos and profile interest her, the conversation will flow.
- Come up with a joke. But please forget about «Girl, your parents, accidentally, are not pirates?»
NOT TO DO:
- Hi, pussy/baby/darling
- Doesn’t your mother need a son-in-law?
- Are those your photos? I bet they are not!
- What do you think about present political situation?
Advice No. 2. Place
It is better to plan the first date in advance. Also it is especially necessary to carefully select the meeting place. Cinema, theater, concert – not the best options for a first date. Chaos will reign around, music going to rumble and you won’t manage to concentrate on each other. A coffee house, cosy bar, an exhibition or the museum, gallery or just walk in the park are more acceptable option for the first date.
It is the best of all to ask the lady what place is preferable to her, what is her favorite coffee place, how she sees your first meeting. Thus, this will be advantageous to both of you – it will be pleasant to the girl that her opinion is considered and you will secure yourself against the incorrect choice.
Advice No. 3 Appearance
Think of the appearance in advance. First of all, never keep the date first morning from hangover. It will frighten off the girl even more than socks with sandals.
Remember, never keep the first date with the girl will bruise, the injured lips or fists. And even if you were traumatized at training – wait until everything heals. It is better to postpone the date. Remember – there won’t be second chance to make the first impression.
Also never put on a sports suit on the first date even if you like it. Leave your favorite sneakers in a case, then send suit in the same place.
And yes, as you already understood – too official appearance is also too much on the first date. Possibly the girl will be a little discouraged by your business suit. Especially if you met on the day off for a cup of coffee in the park.
How to dress on the first date is also important. Of course, the best style to choose is casual. Daily, not too bright but also not too boring. Personally I would stop the choice on jeans, a t-shirt and favorite casual shoes.
I hope it shouldn’t be reminded that clothes surely have to be clean and ironed. Ensure a clean-shaven face. And surely take a shower to smell nice.
Advice No. 4. Flowers, gifts?
The most relevant question before dating is following: whether to get girl on flowers, candies or other gifts for the date? Let’s see both sides of the argument.
- Getting bouquet of beautiful flowers will lighten the mood, make her day brighter, and the impression of meeting with you will remain magnificent.
- In 10 years she can potentially tell children: «And your father came to a date with huge bouquet of beautiful roses and I understood: this is my future husband».
- She will have a reason for a new photo in Instagram (as you know, it is very important for girls).
- If you bring flowers on the first date, it can force her to feel awkwardly. Especially if at first sight she wasn’t too attracted.
- It can also happen so that you won’t be attracted to her. Then your bouquet will give her a reason for excess illusions and offenses in a consequence. Perhaps, it is worth bringing a beautiful bouquet on the second date if it takes place?
For example, if the girl with whom your first date will take place is obsessed about healthy lifestyle – beautifully packed dried fruits and nuts for you in help. Of course, the choice remains for you. As for me, I unambiguously want to please the girl on the first date. Therefore I would stop the choice on a simple but gorgeous bouquet of flowers.
Advice No. 5. Who pays?
Rather topical issue both for guys and for girls. Many of my mates refuse to pay for the girl on the first date. They claim that that’s how her commercialism is checked. Also a lot of them told about the girls who ordered expensive dishes at restaurant just to take advantage of the occasion.
But so that there are no embarrassing situations, you should initially define the place where your first date will take a place. Be polite and gallant. Help the girl to take off a coat, to close an umbrella. Surround her with attention and care. Even if from first seconds she externally disappointed you, continue to look after her and just be yourself.
Also, she can be late (within 15 minutes), you – categorically not. Don’t try to understand, just reconcile. Never be late for the first date! It is better to come 5-10 minutes earlier – in case girl didn’t time right and came earlier.
On the first date it is better avoiding embraces and other expression of proximity. At least, it will be awkward to girl to stiffen in embraces of the stranger or as at most – you will be hit in the face and hear a sound of the moving-away heels.
Advice No. 7. What to speak about?
*Very private matters
*Financial wellbeing of both
*Who was before you?
*Discussion of appearance of each other
*Showing off ( I have an apartment, a car, I earn so much).
*Your amazing experience meeting a stunning escort in London escort agency
*Other sensitive topics
Leave all this on the second, fifth or tenth date. Subjects on which it is possible to speak on the first date:
What goes in cinemas now, favorite director, favorite comedy or actor
It may be important that tastes on music with the girl are similar. But even if you will hear that the lovely blonde likes hard rock, take your time to express the disappointment. Better to be surprised, mentioning that its makes her special.
If you as well as I understand zero in arts and painting, better to keep mouth shut. But if lady herself got this subject, it is worth honestly admitting that it is not your strongest area. And accompany the response with an amusing joke.
What have you read last time?
Here, by the way, you can accurately tell about your hobbies or achievements in sport, but carefully, so your dialog would not develop into monologue with praises of yourself.
Ask her how she likes to spend her free time? It is important for you to know in case you begin the relationship. On the weekend you will eat gingerbreads in bed or spend time actively.
Topic which girls love. Tell her about your dog and his amusing tricks. Ask whether she has pets?
Get to know what lady likes to do. If she is interested in you, she will tell you about the favorite salsa studio, the culinary blog and many more with pleasure.
Surely, it is important to also know about what profession the girl has chosen in life. It will also be interesting for her to learn where you work. Yes, in mind she will estimate your financial condition. You can do nothing with it, such is the world.
Dreams and purposes
Of course you shouldn’t share anything too intimate on the first date. It will be enough to tell about planned trip to Europe in March, about desire to open a fitness hall or about intention to get one more dog. And don’t forget to take an interest about her plans. The girl who has no purposes goes down the stream, doesn’t use the efforts and, perhaps, wants to carry out life «parasitizing» on the man.
Remember that if you make any mistake is still possible to brighten things up, explain, apologize. But if you act like an idiot, then it will be noticeable in a conversation. The first date will deteriorate and the girl won’t agree to the next meeting under any circumstances.
Therefore, control your speech. Exclude words parasites. It is better to discuss easy subjects at the first date, to laugh more. You are afraid that you won’t be able to make a joke like a comedian? Open Google, read some articles or watch a favorite comedy before the date.
Advice No. 8. Body language signals
To understand what to speak about and how to behave, of course, is good. But what to do with nonverbal communication? Surely watch the body. Don’t give to spoil everything to the nonverbal signals:
- Don’t hide your hands
Easily gesticulate, showing openness. Do not cross hands on breast, don’t keep them in pockets (it will be included as arrogance or closeness)
- Don’t sit too comfortably
You came to cafe, you have first date. The girl has sat down, having modestly put hands on a table. And you have collapsed, having widely placed legs and having stretched hands on a char. Well at least, the girl will feel awkwardly. As maximum, she will feel irritation from your manners. It will be much more difficult to build dialogue, subconsciously she will be already closed from you.
Everyone likes smiling people. Subconsciously they seem to us more pleasant and beautiful than those which don’t smile. No matters if you liked girl or not, smile. This will create the comfortable atmosphere between you and will remove a set of barriers which are present on a first date.
- Speak accurately, rather loudly so that the girl can hear.
Think of what is necessary to ask the girl and from what questions to refrain?
- Look in the eyes. There is something intimate in an open look. They say, to interest the person, it is worth looking for 2-3 seconds longer and be ready she will blush.
In a conversation with the girl it is very important to be adjusted with her on one wave. Listen carefully what she tells. And sometimes make an easy nod of the head to let know – your hear her and you listen.
Advice No. 9. Take her home or order a taxi?
The first date with the girl has come to an end. To take her home or not – here is a question. If you offer her your companionship, it will guarantee she will reach home safe especially if the meeting has ended late. She will also feel safe and appreciate your effort. However, lady herself can also be afraid of you. In spite of the fact that evening passed well, you still remain stranger for her.
Of course, to push her into the minibus or into the subway, having waved goodbye – awful option. Especially if you arrived on a car and she knows about it. Excellent exit will be to bring her home if your are driving. However, not each girl after the first date will agree to go with an unfamiliar guy.
The most optimal option, in my opinion, is taxi. Ask whether the girl doesn’t mind and order a car. Suggest to go with her to make sure that she reached without adventures. In case of refusal, just pay to the taxi driver the called sum and wait for a message from the girl.
Advice No. 10. What if she wasn’t attractive?
What if the girl whom you expected to date was not the same she looked on a photo. What if she is no at all in your taste or is not very clever and it was difficult to build a conversation?
It doesn’t matter and the date has to take place well. It isn’t important whether it will be the last, your task – to make sure that the girl has spent good time, has laughed much and has happily gone home. Never show to the lady that she isn’t nice to you.
Advice No. 11. Kiss
Whether to kiss the girl on the first date? My answer is categorical: no.
Of course, there are different situations. If the girl herself reduces a distance between you, if her voice became more silent and the look continually outlines a contour of your lips, you can risk.
But as a rule, girls on the first date rather accurately observe personal borders. And then, if you try to kiss her on the first date, your act can be misinterpreted and then lady can think than you only need intimate proximity.
Advice No. 12. Second date?
Let’s say your first date with the girl went great. You are completely fascinated by her, and she presumably is attracted too. Is it worth suggesting to meet once again?
It may be a good idea not to hurry. The girl needs to calm down and think too whether she has found you the interesting guy. Best of all, directly in the evening after the first date to write text her a couple messages. Even a call can be superfluous and distract the girl from thoughts of last meeting. Ask her what she has found about your first date. Take an interest: perhaps, in your communication she has felt awkwardness? Try to finish your dialogue on a positive note and to go to sleep.
Next day, having woken up with a though of the new acquaintance, you can write her a lovely message. Wish her a good morning and wonderful day. When the conversation starts flowing, safely invite her to an exhibition, cinema etc.
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