Having sex for the first time is one of those experiences that sticks with you for years to come. It may not go as planned, it may feel awkward and just something you want to get done and move on to having real sex, but even if that’s the case, taking the time to ensure your first time is a nice experience will certainly increase your confidence, and pave the way for future sexual behaviour. Regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or you like to meet people online and see where things go, the same ‘rules’ apply, and we’d like to present them as our top 5 typical mistakes first timers make, including tips on how to avoid them.
#1: Skipping Foreplay
Skipping foreplay is a very common mistake two virgins make, and come to think of it, men tend to make for the rest of their lives. Speaking of men, they get aroused just thinking about sex, while women need time to get in the mood regardless of whether they’ve had anywhere from 0 to 20 sexual partners. It takes great confidence to engage in proper foreplay, and most first timers can’t say they know exactly what they’re getting themselves into. It’s important to take your time and not rush through things, and it certainly helps if you already know the territory.
#2: Skipping Steps
Knowing your territory is extremely important when having your first intercourse for several reasons. First, in order to know the territory, you have to spend some time with the person and start being intimate before ‘going all the way’. The time spent together helps you to relax in each other’s company, and the more relaxed you are, the more confident you are, which leads to a more pleasurable sexual experience. Second, touch each other and build your intimacy before having intercourse because this will tell you whether you’re truly ready for the next step.
#3: Imitating Porn
Guys, especially teenagers, need to get it through those pretty little heads of theirs that porn bears very little resemblance to real-life sex. Porn is fun, I’ll give you that, and it can be used to initiate foreplay provided neither of the partners is threatened by it, but that’s the biggest role porn should play in anyone’s first time. If the girl finds it offensive, just forget it and focus on her, not a fantasy, making the experience memorable for both of you.
#4: Pretending You’re An Expert
There are very few situations in life where honesty is not the best policy, and this most certainly isn’t one of them. Pretending to be an expert in bed when it’s your first time will not get you far, and even if you’re not a virgin but your partner is, you still need to take a step back and approach this as a totally new situation. At the same time, many people say that changing partners and having sex with them for the first time often feels like their first time in a sense that they need to explore new territory and see what works and what doesn’t. In a healthy relationship, not being an expert is just as sexy or even sexier than having had multiple partners or meaningless sex.
#5: Not Using Protection
Your first time may be in a relationship or it may be a casual sexual encounter, but whatever it is one thing goes without saying – using protection is a must. Better safe than sorry, and this goes for both an unplanned pregnancy and STDs that may feel light years away when they’re actually everywhere. Talk to your partner about protection, bring a condom (not it your pocket because body heat damages it), and enjoy safe sex this and every other time you get down and dirty with someone.
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