10 Essential Tips for Maintaining a Happy and Healthy Sex Life

10 Essential Tips for Maintaining a Happy and Healthy Sex Life

Whether you’re single, casually dating, or in a committed relationship, it goes without saying that a fulfilling, healthy approach to sex is essential. Getting in touch with yourself sexually and taking steps to maintain your ongoing sexual health are important not only to your personal wellbeing, but to your ability to connect sexually to other people as well. However, knowing you care about living your best life from a sexual standpoint is one thing. Actually doing it is another.

Here we’ll go over some must-know tips everyone should keep in mind when it comes to staying sexually balanced. We’ll touch on some ways you can have better, more satisfying sex. We’ll discuss the best ways to stay on top of your sexual health. We’ll cover some tips for getting to know yourself better on a sexual level as well. Now, on to the tips…


  • Get in shape and stay that way.

You already know that exercise is an essential part of maintaining your health and staying healthy as you age. What you may not fully understand is how important physical health is to a fulfilling sex life. Getting in shape and staying that way helps build endurance, stamina, and flexibility – all very helpful qualities to have at your disposal in the bedroom. It can send your confidence and self-esteem soaring as well.

Finally, getting serious about fitness with a partner can be a wonderful way to build a deeper connection with one another. (If you’re single, fitness can be an avenue for meeting new people and potential partners.) That said, if you’re not in shape, get in shape. If you’re already in shape, make sure you stay that way.


  • Make sure you’re eating right.

If you’re like many people, you likely underestimate the role your diet plays when it comes to the quality of your sex life. As with lack of exercise, a poor diet contributes greatly to weight gain, which can in turn affect your circulatory health and your self-esteem. Bad food choices and eating habits can lead to lowered energy levels, diminished sex drive, and inflammation as well.

Start eating with your overall health in mind, as well as your libido. Nourish yourself from the inside out with plenty of lean protein, fresh produce, whole grains, and water. You may also want to consider adding sensible amounts of libido-boosting treats to your diet (i.e. red wine, oysters, or dark chocolate).


  • Get yourself thoroughly tested.

We’re not just talking about STDs either (although everyone should get regularly tested as a rule). Making it a point to be regularly evaluated for a variety of health conditions can help you maintain the quality of your sex life as well.

For instance, issues with circulation or your cardiovascular health can contribute to common concerns like erectile dysfunction or trouble with arousal. Gynecological issues can lead to painful, unsatisfying sex or fertility problems. In other words, keeping that yearly appointment with your doc is one of the best things you can do to get and stay sexually healthy.


  • Prioritize your self-esteem.

You can’t bring your A-game in the bedroom if you’re lacking in the confidence department. Most of us go through many things over the course of our lifetime that negatively impact our self-esteem. We might gain weight, start showing physical signs of aging, or feel the pressure of a stagnating professional life to name just a few examples. That can certainly affect libido and sexual performance, especially over time.

If you’re struggling with your self-esteem, it’s time to get at the root of what’s wrong so you can make a few changes for the better. Work on what you can and turn to healthy ways of coping with what you can’t. Learning a new skill, getting a long-overdue makeover, or picking up a new hobby can all help break you out of a rut as well.


  • Make room in your schedule for couple’s time.

If you’re in a relationship and have been for a while, you already know that staying as closely connected as you were in the beginning takes effort. It’s all too easy for pressing family issues, demanding work schedules, and more to get in the way of spending enough time together as a couple. The longer you’re together, the more this becomes the case.

If it’s a challenge to spontaneously spend enough time together just the two of you (with no kids, no friends, and no family members along for the ride), try scheduling a regular date night or couple’s day. Treat that commitment with the same seriousness you would any other appointment. If you can swing it, regular getaways that are solely about reconnecting as a couple are also a good idea.


  • Get in touch with your own sexual needs.

Whether you’re single or in relationship, one of the best things you can do for your sex life is get in touch with your own desires. What turns you on? What turns you off? What are your favorite sexual fantasies and why? Which (if any) of those fantasies would you be open to exploring in real life either on your own or with a partner?

If you’re already in a relationship, you should sit down together sometime for a no-judgment talk about sex in general. Try making lists of your own personal fantasies. Then trade lists with one another and identify options to try together from each list. Many couples find exploring fetish play, role playing, and more to be great ways to keep things spicy and stay sexually connected as the years go by.


  • Use sex toys to explore different sensations.

Learning how you like to be touched and discovering what exact types of stimulation help you reach orgasm is essential for everyone, men and women alike. Sex toys can be a wonderful way to explore that either on your own or with a partner.

That said, consider investing in one or two to play with on your own when it’s time for a solo session. Options like vibrators or dildos can be great ways for women to learn how to orgasm or to discover how they can reach orgasm more easily. Men can use items like strokers or masturbators to improve stamina or change things up when it’s time to go solo. Still more options – like anal toys – can be terrific ways to explore entirely new sensations and push personal boundaries either alone or with a partner.

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  • Cultivate intimate personal rituals.

If you’re part of a couple, it’s important to understand intimacy is first cultivated outside the bedroom. A great way to keep it going is to start and maintain plenty of little repeating rituals that keep you connected as a couple. Caring acts – like waking your partner with a mug of their favorite hot beverage in the morning or drawing them a fragrant bath in the evenings when they’re tired – are great options. So are standing dates to enjoy specific TV shows together or split a favorite treat every Friday night after work.

Not in a relationship at present? Make room in your schedule for pleasant little “me time” rituals instead. Treat yourself to a hot bath every Sunday complete with your favorite bath bomb and a glass of red wine. Make every other Wednesday afternoon your standing date to splurge on a manicure, facial, or massage. You get the picture.


  • Treat yourself to some sexy new underwear.

You’d be surprised how effective some new intimate apparel can be when it comes to jump starting your libido. You don’t necessarily have to be in a relationship or currently sleeping with someone to reap the benefits either. When you’re wearing gorgeous underwear that makes you feel like a million dollars, it’s easier to see yourself as the fierce sexual being that you are.

The feeling of soft, luxurious fabrics like satin or silk against your skin can help stimulate your nerve endings. Good underwear can help you make the most of your natural assets and look your best both in and out of your clothes. It’s an instant self-esteem booster as well, whether you plan on anyone seeing it or not.


  • Set the mood.

Whether you’re hoping to get horizontal with your partner later on or are simply due for a hot solo date with your favorite vibrating dildo, a little ambience can go a long way. Start by making your bedroom a sexy place to be. Put beautiful, luxurious sheets on the bed and keep dirty laundry well out of sight. Choose soft lighting or light candles to set a mood. Also make sure the room smells sexy via options like fabric fresheners or fresh flowers.

Be sure to take your time as well. Play music. Start with a soothing muscle massage or some of your favorite erotica read aloud. Allow yourself to really get lost in the moment and in how wonderful it can feel to be sexual, whether you’re with a partner or not. Your body, mind, and spirit will thank you for it!

Ashley Rosemont

Ashley Rosemont is a feature columnist for, the web’s original porn site for women by women. She is a Renaissance woman of many talents, but tries to remain humble in the face of all the curveballs life throws her way. She has been a professional writer for over two decades, and specializes in writing on media, culture, health and sexuality.
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Written by Ashley Rosemont

Ashley Rosemont is a feature columnist for, the web’s original porn site for women by women. She is a Renaissance woman of many talents, but tries to remain humble in the face of all the curveballs life throws her way. She has been a professional writer for over two decades, and specializes in writing on media, culture, health and sexuality.

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